Viki’s story
After the tragic death of her Mum, Viki Angel, 48, found herself on a downward spiral – drinking alcohol to cope with her grief. In 2021, Viki, from Newcastle, decided enough was enough and cut alcohol out of her life.
She wasn’t sure where to turn for the support she needed, so founded the group, Sober Socials, which now helps hundreds of people going through similar experiences.
“I knew that I was starting to drink too much after losing Mum, but I didn’t identify as an alcoholic. To the outside world, I was fine and holding down a good job. Inside, I was screaming and I felt dreadful. I’d check out each night and drink to block the pain – but I was doing so much damage to my body and mind.
“I was hurtling towards rock bottom, but then I reflected and realised that I didn’t want that for myself. I had a lovely husband and a lovely life. I tried to moderate my drinking, but I could never just have the one. It was time to cut out the thing that was having such a negative impact on my life.
“For me, when I stopped drinking alcohol, it was important to have that accountability, but I couldn’t find anywhere to turn. That’s why I founded the Sober Socials Facebook group.”
The Sober Socials group now stands at around 950 members – with a supportive community of people who have decided to quit drinking – or are ‘sober curious’ and looking for a reset.
“Some people are in recovery, others see themselves as ‘grey area’ drinkers. That was me. Each evening I’d finish work and open the wine – and before I knew it, a full bottle was gone.
“It became a vicious cycle and my anxiety was off the scale. After founding the group, I’ve realised that it’s such a common thing. People around my age face a range of difficult situations – ageing parents, difficult jobs, juggling family commitments. I couldn’t find anywhere to go to connect with likeminded people, so the group is such a support for me.
“We’re a tight-knit community and each month, we meet up for a brunch, hike and wild sea swim. Anyone can put an event on – all we ask is that it’s alcohol-free.
“When I first went sober, it was challenging, and even now I get the odd craving – but I soon noticed that there are so many benefits from not drinking. Cutting alcohol out has enriched my life so much. A lot of people don’t realise that alcohol can worsen symptoms of menopause, so cutting it out helped me massively. I would never ever swap my sober sleep!
“I’ve made so many new friends and I’m around people who really get it. I don’t have the dreaded hangovers anymore and my anxiety is nowhere near as bad. Even things like my heartburn have totally disappeared, which I wasn’t expecting! I also now have so much more time for activities in my life.
“My advice for anyone thinking about having an alcohol reset is to put yourself first and be clear about why you’re doing it. I realised that it just wasn’t worth it for the way that alcohol was making me feel.
“I journaled every day, listened to podcasts, read ‘quit lit’, and found ways to distract myself. It was the 5pm ‘witching hour’ for me – I needed to avoid the time I would’ve typically opened the wine. During social occasions, I gave myself an exit strategy so I knew when to head off. I’m fine with them now, but when I first stopped drinking, I found it harder to be around other people who were drinking.
“My husband has also stopped drinking. He didn’t have any issues personally, but he is in his 50s now and he decided to stop for health reasons, to give himself the best quality of life.
“Our group isn’t about saying to people not to drink, but we hope to challenge some of the myths around alcohol.
“It’s everywhere – on cards, Facebook memes – all of it saying how wonderful alcohol is. Celebrate – drink alcohol. Stressed – drink alcohol. Big Alcohol tells you the lie that you can drink responsibly and it’s all okay – but in reality it is pushed on you and causing so much harm to people’s health, with links to cancer and many other health issues, and to society more generally.
“Our group is saying to people that you’re not alone – we’re here and we’ve got you. There’s no pressure to stop drinking forever, we have people in the group that do still choose to drink – but Sober Socials offers an opportunity to join in something without alcohol, to give yourself a break from it. You’re not losing anything, but you will gain loads.”
Find Sober Socials on Facebook, or Instagram – where there’s more information about what’s on and how to get involved.
